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My Loopt Journal (where to find me!)

Saturday, January 15, 2011

My new boyfriend is a well known porn model. I'm not in the industry. What's your advice?

Be strong!
Good luck and hang-on tight!
You're in for an interesting ride!
I've been on both sides of the position you're in and over my life, I've handled it both poorly and well! I hope I can help you do it better than I have!

For several years, porn star Josh West and I were partners. I was already in the industry ( we met on-set at Titan!) but, in my mind, he was the MUCH bigger star than I. So, in my somewhat messed-up perspective of the time, I developed all kinds of issues and problems handling that. I felt very "invisible" and inadequate. I drove myself and him crazy by constantly comparing myself to him or the attention he was getting. Whatever you do, don't compare yourself to others or compete - just be the best YOU, you can be, and the best will come of it. Comparing how we feel inside to what we can see on the outside of others is always a no-win route to craziness.

My best advice is to be as strong, open and honest, and confident as you can be. Have your own life and interests independent of his and keep growing, both as an individual and as a couple. Don't let things simmer or resentments build; share your feelings.

Good luck!

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